


Fool's Love

by GingerEnvy



Category: Hawkeye (Comics), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Big brother gives the glare, Brainwashing, Clint has self esteem issues, Enhancements, Lots of mindfucking, Memory Loss, Misunderstanding, Polyamory, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-09
Updated: 2015-02-23
Packaged: 2018-02-16 14:55:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 21,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2273970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GingerEnvy/pseuds/GingerEnvy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clint, Natasha and Bucky are settled into a comfortable threeway relationship, things were going fine, but then Natasha gets hurt and Bucky blames Clint and ends up kicking him out of their shared apartment.<br/>Luckily Natasha knocks some sense back into him and Bucky realizes his mistake and goes to apologize only to discover Clint isn't there.<br/>He's vanished and they can't find him, the only clues are whispers of the past which is a comfort to neither of them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Fool's Dream

Clint closed the door of his brother’s spare room gently, slowly he slipped down the door, back sliding down until his butt thumped inelegantly on the floor.

His head connected with his knees and he let out a shaky sigh.

He was an idiot.

He had to catch a pathetic sob on his lips, muffling it against his legs, good god what was he a teenage girl? He wasn’t going to cry. That was stupid. Just like him.

He was such an idiot for thinking that maybe, just this once, everything would be okay, that it would last.

He was wrong.

~

The battle hadn't been too bad, just a real pain in the ass, Clint had been knocked on his more than once, and he was pretty sure his tailbone would never be the same.

Not that the activities from the night before had helped with that, and the matching smirks Bucky and Natasha had sent him made it clear they were more than aware of his discomfort when they’d been informed of the mission and were getting ready to go.

_"Have a rough time of it, Clint?" Natasha had asked sweetly._

_"Think you can manage to not get hurt this time, Barton? Hate to see you flat on your back again." Bucky said mockingly sincere._

Smug little shits.

But he could still fight, they would just have to make it up to him later, maybe he would just curl up with Bucky’s arm later, it felt great on sore muscles.

However, with their luck, that didn’t happen, Natasha got hurt, not badly because Bucky was able to protect her. But that made all the difference. If one of them was injured they made sure to put them above all else.

 

Clint set his bow and quiver down with a groan as he arrived at their shared apartment after helping with the clean up and PR stuff. It had been awful after the battle considering he was sorta beat up, he was pretty sure his bruises had bruises at this point, but he would live. He would just make some food, they would all need to eat good tonight, maybe they could watch a movie, one of Natasha's favorites, naturally, cuddle a bit- not that he was a cuddler or anything, it was just good for morale. Yeah...morale.

He moved further into the apartment, contemplating on what kind of food he should make.

"Hey, you guys here yet?" he called, and then saw Bucky coming out of one of the bed rooms, likely having heard him come in, Clint smiled at hime, "Hey, you know what you want for di-"

"Get out."

"-nner? Cause….what?"

"Get. Out."

"Bucky..?" Clint frowned, confused. He shook his head not sure he heard him right, he stared at Bucky in bemusement but then noticed his eyes were a lot colder, a lot less sympathetic, he was ‘James’. What Natasha called her lover from ages past, what Clint considered his more Russian persona, or Natasha’s Bucky. He was colder, but he was more loyal to Natasha than anything in the world, even Clint and when he was protecting her and angry, he was terrifying.

"I don’t want to look at you anymore. It’s because of you she got hurt. You don’t deserve to be here, _get out_ ,” He nearly growled, obviously trying to keep his voice low. Clint took a step back from the intensity of it, he really couldn't help it.

"I didn't-" he stuttered, but couldn't get a word out as James took a step towards him. Clint took another step back on instinct.

"Out. You’re useless to me if you can’t keep her safe, that’s the only reason I ever trusted you, the only reason I let you stay. Now you’re just in the way, so get out."

"Bucky, come on, you know I wouldn't hurt her, just calm down and-:

"Your arrow exploded above us, she was hit with debris, if I hadn't been there she would have been crushed, it would have been your fault."

"No, I-"

"OUT," he snarled taking a menacing step forward his arm raised threateningly, Clint was back against the door, more terrified in his life than he ever had been before. He didn't think Bucky would ever hurt him, but he'd been wrong about many things many times before.

"Okay!" he said quickly, panicked, trying to keep the waver from his voice, "I’m going! I just- I need my stuff…then I’ll be gone, you won’t have to deal with me again."

James was silent for a moment, “You have five minutes” With that he turned around walked back to the bedroom and snapped the door closed.

Clint let out a shaky and uncontrolled sob of a breath, Jesus. Who knew that this morning when they’d been throwing pancake batter at each other it would end like this.

He took another breath and then rushed straight to his room too panicked and shakey to think, he grabbed his duffel, and started to grab and shove things in, clothes and just random things in his room, the rest were weapons, he was out in five and a half minutes, grabbing his bow and quiver on the way out.

 

Twenty minutes later he ended up on the other side of the city knocking on his big brother’s door.

Barney didn't need to ask, one look at his baby brother’s face and he knew it was bad, he only pulled him in and closed the door.

Barney was good at distracting him for the night, doing obnoxious boy things as his girlfriend liked to tell them before she left for her night shift at the hospital, leaving them to play video games and make fun of archers in movies together.

But eventually Clint went to bed, just needing to be by himself now. Alone in the guest bedroom his brain was given free reign to review everything he'd ever done wrong.

~

He was such an idiot.

He should have known it was coming to an end, it always did. He just wasn't good for relationships, too insecure and too high maintenance and just a pain in the ass in general. Even when he was trying to make it work.

But he should have known better, Natasha and James had history.

They were an item long before he’d even been born. They had a thing, they had a connection, shared experiences, they had a past, they had so many things that Clint really couldn't hold a candle to. He didn't know why he'd tried.

He was really just a play thing, he figured as much, he loved Nat, he had for a long time, and she knew, they’d been a thing for a little while, he wouldn't really call it a relationship because it wasn't like…romantic, it was just partners in every aspect of their life. Trust, and some good times, that’s what they had. Simple and good.

But that wasn't nearly as much as she had with James, so when he’d come back Clint knew in a heartbeat he wouldn't stand a chance against the other man. But Natasha Romanov was stubborn, she would have have her way. And her way was both.

Turns out Clint was a little gay for Barnes, and Barnes of course reassured him that everyone was. They got along great.

It had worked. It had worked really well, the three of them, well enough for them to move in together, get out of the Tower and just have a place to themselves, everything had seemed so great, so full. But there were empty places that only they could fill for each other which essentially made Clint useless.

He knew he would be unneeded one day. He just hadn't expected it so soon.

But here it was, and he had no fucking clue what to do now.

Maybe he would stay with Barney, or maybe he’d go to the West Coast, they could use an Avenger probably? Maybe Godzilla would attack and Clint would get eaten.

Giant lizard teeth would probably be a lot less painful than this.

With his head still against his knees he didn't move, he’d been happy, and he’d lost it.

He deserved it though.

He really should have seen this coming.

Eyes of a hawk and a heart of a fool.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started writing it cause I could. And kept writing it cause I wanted to, and there needs to be more of this ship, so I did it myself! So HA!
> 
> Edited: 2/21/15


	2. Fool's Redemption

Bucky was awoken from his light doze when the bed shifted, he looked down to see Natasha making a move to sit up and lean against the backboard like he was. His flesh hand moved immediately to push her back down.

"Hey what do you think you’re doing?" he demanded, that earned him a glare with more exasperation than irritation. Natasha hated being coddled, and she wasn't afraid of tell him so.

He smirked slightly, yeah, that was his ballerina.

"I’m just making sure you don’t strain something or hurt your head more, you know those are serious injuries," he said, giving her a look.

"You would know best wouldn't you?" Natasha drawled after rolling her eyes.

"I would."

"Most were quite serious."

"Most were from you," he replied and she grinned cheekily. He laughed, relaxing now, she would be alright.

"Alright, fine, you can sit up, but I’m bringing you food, and water, you’re drinking two glasses," he instructed, she snorted.

"You and Clint are the most irritating nurses I have had the misfortune to be placed in the care of," she told him, then frowned noticing her other irritating nurse wasn't present. "Where is Clint?"

"Gone."

"Gone where? He isn't still cleaning up is he?" The battle hadn't been that messy, pretty tame actually, she couldn't have been out for more than five hours. She felt more healed already.

"No, he’s gone, gone, I kicked him out."

There was a long pause as Natasha took in his words.

"You did what, exactly?" she asked slowly and calmly.

"He failed you, I kicked him out," he told her, Natasha paused for a long moment then grabbed James’ chin and jerked him to face her, he frowned and she cursed in Russian.

“Черт возьми,” she glared at him, “James,” she started, then paused, “Bucky,” she said instead, because she rarely called him that, if ever but she had to get him out of his current head space, “He never fails me, you know that. He never fails us.”

"His arrow caused debris to fall and hit you," he said, his lips were twitched, trying not to scowl.

"Because there were civilians on the other side, and he had nothing to do with it, there was an explosion above me, I saw it but couldn't move because of where I was positioned in the fight. It wasn't his fault, James."

The man’s jaw clenched for a moment and then his eyes cleared as he replayed the moment in his head and slowly Bucky was back at the forefront and he looked horrified, “Oh fuck…”

Natasha took his hand and squeezed it, “It’s fine, we’ll get him later,” she said gently and he shook his head.

"It’s not fine, Natasha I- Jesus…" he let out a breath, the memory of Clint in the hall, trying not to look like he was scared, but he could see it in his eyes, he’d been terrified. _He_ had done that, _he_ had been the reason.

"It’s okay, James, all you have to do is apologize and explain, Clint is probably one of the most forgiving people we know," she said, squeezing his hand again.

"Yeah…okay…" he replied but couldn't get the image of Clint’s hurt and scared eyes out of his mind. He would really have to make an effort to make it up to him.

"Just go later, sleep now, I know you haven’t yet," Natasha said, pulling him down next to her as she moved to lay too.

"But-"

"Sleep, idiot," she said fondly, "You’re no good tired."

"Alright alright…" he agreed, "Tomorrow."

~

And that was how he appeared at Barney Barton’s door the next day at 9am.

Barney looked at him rather unimpressed, arching an eyebrow and not budging from the door, not even saying a word.

"Can I talk to Clint?" Bucky asked after a long awkward pause, Barney glared for a moment then crossed his arms.

"Why?"

"Um…because I need to apologize..?" Bucky tried and then rubbed the back of his head feeling even more awkward, "Because I need him to come back home..?"

Barney arched his brow higher. Clint was his little brother and he’d had him come to him looking broken. He had to be the tough one just then, he knew Clint had been in a weird assassin three way type thing, and he'd seen him and knew he was happy, so he wasn't going to say anything to make him stop. But now he was hurt by it and he couldn't forgive so easily.

"Because I was an idiot and I didn't think, I was just going on instinct and I just- can I please talk to him?" Bucky asked, putting more urgency in his voice, Barney finally rolled his eyes. He didn't need to forgive, but in the end it was still Clint's decision.

"Fine, fine, jeez, yer both freakin’ idiots," he muttered, "But fer different things," he let the other man in and then gestured down the hall, "Last one on the left, haven’t heard anythin' since last night…but I know he likes to brood, was gonna get him for breakfast in a minute…"

He shrugged and moved to the kitchen where a pretty brunette woman was at the stove already, making bacon and eggs, Barney watched Bucky head down and then went to wrap his arms around his girl. He'd give them their privacy, he knew Clint, and he'd likely forgive him without a thought. The dope. He sighed and kissed his girl's cheek, "Bein' a brother's hard," he told her and she only laughed then kissed him back, making him smile too. 

He figured he and his brother deserved happiness, finally, after all the shit they'd been through. It was about damn time.

 

Bucky went to the door and knocked, “Clint..?” he called and received no answer, “Clint…I’m sorry, I wasn't actually- I mean…shit…I wasn't me, I was just worried, Natalia- Natasha does that to me. That doesn't mean I don't care about you too, okay? Nat called me an idiot and sent me after you and- crap I’m not doing a very good job of this…can you just open the door please?” he asked desperately, wondering if he’d really fucked it up and Clint was just going to not deal with him right now.

But he didn't hear anything, no movement, not the scuff of a foot or the rustle of a shirt, and he knew Clint was good, but…

"Clint?’ he knocked again before opening the door, "Clint?" he asked one more time, but the room was empty and he wondered for a second if he’d been talking to the wrong door, but he saw Clint’s duffel at the end of the bed so that disproved that theory, but there was no Clint.

He frowned and looked around, it didn't look like there had been a struggle, but then his eyes narrowed in on minute details, the few drops of blood on the carpet, Clint’s cell still on the charger, the window open and stuff blowing in from outside suggesting it’d been open awhile. That was not reassuring.

Bucky did an about face and went back to the kitchen, the other two were sitting at the table eating, a third place was set out for Clint.

"He’s gone," he said tightly, Barney and the woman looked up at him confused.

"He hasn't left, she talked to ‘im this mornin’," he gestured to his girlfriend and she nodded, "Ya sure you picked the right door to spout at?" he asked and Bucky didn't change expressions, if anything he became more serious.

"He’s gone, there was blood on the floor and his phone is still in the room," he said and Barney frowned and set his utensils down then stood, heading for the room.

He glanced into the bathroom just in case, “What the…” he muttered going over to the few drops of blood on the carpet he bent down and touched it, “It’s still wet…but what…?”

"He had to have been taken, there’s no other explanation," Bucky said turning around already, going to go do the necessary things to find the missing Avenger.

"Normally I’d say you were overreactin’, but…I know in this line of work you’re probably right…" he frowned, "You better bring him back, asshole, you have something to fix." And he was not going to lose his brother over this, which he left unsaid.

Bucky didn't acknowledge the words spoken or otherwise, but Barney was right, he did, and he was going to fix it. No matter what.

~

Clint cracked his eyes open and tried not to panic, he was tied down and there were things surrounding him that were not at all reassuring. He knew the bitch who’d taken him was out of her mind but what did she expect from him? National secrets? Come on, they'd stopped telling him those.

If the pain he felt a moment later was any indication he think he’d figure it out eventually. Even if he was wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Dammit" is the translation of what Natasha says in Russian.
> 
> Edited: 2/21/15


	3. Fool's Run

_Clint let out a breath, slow and even and just a bit shaky at the end, it didn't hurt right now, but he knew it would soon, that’s really all he knew right now, pain._

_And betrayal, it stung in his heart for reasons he didn't know, it hurt more than the actual pain he was going through._

_Everything hurt and he didn't know why._

~

Clint sighed and stood from his spot against the door in his brother’s apartment, he didn't want to be pathetic in front of his brother but sometimes it had to be done, plus his brother didn't judge. Not anymore anyway. His brother was great.

He huffed out another sigh and flopped on the bed, this was lame, maybe he was overreacting a bit, because Natasha hadn't really had any say in the matter, he’ll wait, if there’s nothing said then he’ll make himself scarce, he knew Natasha and James had a thing a lot deeper than anything he could have with them so he wouldn't bug them if they wanted to be together.

He let out another breath and covered his eyes with his arm, he was utterly exhausted, physically and mentally.

Soon enough he was asleep, despite the turmoil, he really needed the rest.

 

Later, he wasn't sure how much later, he woke feeling like something was off, he was still for a moment, waiting, listening. Nothing seemed to be in the room with him, he rolled out of bed and stood and went to the stuff he’d set on the desk, casually grabbing a knife, things still felt off, he opened his mouth and then froze as a blade was pressed against his throat.

"You will not say a word unless you wish for their blood spilled; beautiful couple, yes?" a female voice with a heavy Russian accent said in his ear, he snapped his mouth shut and scowled.

"Good boy," the voice purred, "Now, if you want them unharmed, you will come with me, no noise," she said, tapping his shoulder Clint snorted and then thrust his hand back, the one with the knife but he hit air. His wrist was grabbed, and the knife was knocked out of his hand.

"Oh dar-"

"Clint, are you okay? I thought I heard something," another female voice called through the door.

There was a beat of silence and then the knife was pressed against his throat harder and he felt it break skin, blood dripped down his throat, he could feel it.

"Yeah, I’m fine, just talking to myself, don’t worry about it Becky," he said convincingly, because he wasn't about to let his brother or his girlfriend get hurt because of some crazy chick.

"If you’re sure…?"

"I am, thank you though," he said again and then she left, her footsteps fading from outside the door, leaving Clint with his attacker.

"You are a very good liar, pity you are not used as well as you could be," she said and Clint snorted, hard.

"You here to give me a job offer?" he drawled, and she laughed softly and the knife shifted, giving him a chance to wipe his fingers against his throat and let them drip onto the carpet.

"Not quite," she purred and then there was something being stabbed into his neck, before he had a chance to even feel shocked his vision was fading to black and his body was falling, he felt himself be caught and then he was out.

~

Clint woke up strapped to a table, everything was fuzzy for a moment before it cleared and he could stare up at the spartan ceiling and get a headache from the light thanks to the drugs. He hated drugs, a lot, they never ended well for him, and being human and all, it made it a bit hard to recover when the effects were less than pleasant.

"Ah, you’re awake," the female voice said, a woman stepped into his line of vision, she was blonde and quite petite, she smirked like she had a secret, "Wonderful, now we can begin, no need to waste time."

"What the hell are you talking about?" he demanded, a but woozily, "Crazy lady with a plan, Jesus."

"Hush now, you will know soon enough, now just lay back, relax, and scream for me, darling," she said and pet his face gently.

"Wait what?" he asked trying to move to look at her, but instead something moved around his head and clicked into place, struggling did nothing, and then a few seconds later he was screaming. His whole body in agony, and his mind a plane of white noise because of the pain.

He wasn't sure how long it lasted, but it felt like forever, only when he was gasping for air and shaking in the restraints, tear trails leading from his eyes crusty and gross, did he realized he wasn't in pain anymore, just the aftershocks of it.

The blond woman leaned over and pet his face again, “It hurts, but don’t worry it will be over soon enough,” she crooned and kissed his forehead, then pulled a screen over his face that had Natasha and Bucky’s faces on them.

"Wh-what…" he gasped, why? What did they have to do with anything..? Oh wait she’d had a Russian accent, it couldn't be…

"W-who…are…?" he panted out, "What…?"

She smiled at him, “I am the real Black Widow, Yelena Belanova, and you will be my perfect little messenger to Natalia. When I am through, you will hate them with every fiber of your being,” she said gently, running her fingers through his hair.

"I…won’t do…shit…for…you," he grit out through clenched teeth, "Not…a…chance."

She only smiled this time, and then the machine was back on and he was screaming as lies were trickled into his brain, the pictures of Natasha and Bucky the only thing he could see, slowly feeding off of the hurt he’d already felt.

Yelena would whisper to him every time the machine stopped, testing him, and reassuring him before starting up again.

There was no end, and slowly Clint faded.

All that he was, faded into black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have these posted on tumblr originally, so yeah. The format is different and the italics go poof.  
> Boo.  
> Edited: 2/21/15


	4. Fool's Search

Three months and so far there had been no sign.

Three months and it was hard not to grow frantic.

Bucky and Natasha were easily able to hide how worried they were in front of the other Avengers, but as the days turned into weeks and those turned into months with absolutely no sign of Clint, they were bordering on panicked.

It was hard to keep up the level of persistence they had at the beginning simply because it seemed so hopeless, the only thing that kept them at it was the lack of a body found.

Which wasn't as reassuring to them as it was to most.

~

"You _lost_ Hawkeye?"

"He was kidnapped, Stark," Bucky scowled, "We have absolutely nothing to go on either."

"Oh please," Tony huffed and then pulled out one of his tablets, "There's a tracker in his phone, right-?"

"He didn't have his phone," Natasha said, already fed up with Stark's arrogance.

"Then-"

"No," Bucky snapped, "There was nothing, the drops of blood on the ground prove that he didn't just walk out, he wouldn't leave his phone even if he was being an idiot, he wouldn't be out of touch with his brother."

"He may be a' idiot most of the time, but Barnes' is right," Barney said dryly from next to them, "Clint's been checkin' on me like a' old lady ever since I found 'im, it's both endearin' and irritatin', mostly irritatin'..."

"He wouldn't just vanish like that," Natasha said and then sighed, "Not to mention he would never leave without his bow."

"Right...so where the hell is he?" Tony frowned at them over his tablet.

"He's not going to be any help," Natasha told the other two men with her.

"Nope," Barney agreed.

"Hey!" Tony said indignantly, "I don't see you guys actually coming up with solutions here, just problems."

"There's not much else we can really do," Bucky sighed, "We have nothing to go on..."

"Unless we're looking at it wrong," Natasha mused, "We're already sure he didn't leave, he was kidnapped, but we need to find out who did it, so we need to ask who would want to take him."

"No offense to him, but who would want to?" Tony asked.

"That's pretty offensive," Barney frowned.

"Hear me out, when you have me, the millionaire, and then you have Captain America- Oh I guess he's just the easiest one to take isn't he?" Tony hummed, interrupting his thoughts with his own thoughts, "Can't really take Bruce and only an idiot would go after you two," He flapped his hand in Natasha and Bucky's direction, "Though they must have gotten the jump on him, and who would be capable of that? I know you two like to beat him into the ground during training."

"That's sort of the problem, man," Barney said, sounding vaguely amused at the genius being an idiot, then he shook his head, "None of the assholes we knew would have the ability ta get in 'n out without me or Becky hearin' it...so I guess we can rule out him bein' kidnapped because he was the target, musta been 'cause 'a you guys."

Bucky didn't look too pleased by that, because he already felt guilty for the whole clusterfuck of Clint leaving in the first place because of him, "That's really not something I want to think about," he muttered sharing a look with Natasha.

"We can't rule it out," Natasha said, "We have many enemies, and even he does, he's taken kills and spoiled many deals of his own, despite what Stark thinks he was SHIELD's best Sniper and second best Specialist," she said, proud of her hawk.

"And he can keep up with both of us in sparring until he gets tired, then we put him on his ass," Bucky added.

"You do a little more than that with his ass, I think," Tony said with a crude smirk.

"Can we not talk about my brother's ass please," Barney muttered.

"So despite what Tony says, whoever took him had to be very skilled which leaves very few who could be responsible," Natasha said, moving the conversation along, "Which is not reassuring."

Bucky nodded at her look, Barney frowned, "Okay, what do you two know that you're not tellin' us?"

"It's really not something that will make sense to anyone but us," Bucky said, "And something we really don't want to be true."

"A few weeks ago I received a message, I thought it was only a trivial threat from a past grievance...if Clint was taken by them...I was wrong to ignore it," she said, pressing her lips together.

"It's not your fault, Natasha," Bucky told her and she looked him in the eyes, their gaze serious and intense.

"It's not your fault either," she said, and Bucky gave her a jerky nod.

"Who did you ignore?" Barney asked, frowning now, "All this speculation won't do shit unless we find my brother."

"Red Room," Natasha said breaking eye contact with Bucky to look at the red haired man, "They are who trained me, and though I destroyed many of their bases, they are still grasping to life like parasites, it seems like I should have been more thorough."

"We will be this time, once we get Clint back," Bucky said, "We can take a torch to it, let Clint go wild with his 'explody' arrows," he said and his mouth twitched at the use of Clint's dorky name for his arrows, as did Natasha's.

"Alright, where do we start?" Tony asked, holding up his tablet.

~

"Come along, my darling Hawk," a voice whispered in his ear as a hand wiped the tear tracks from his cheeks, "It's time we moved on, we can't let them find you before you're ready."

He couldn't reply, he couldn't think, he couldn't feel.

He only wanted it all to go away.


	5. Interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just some memories of good times had.

_"Get your feet off of me, Barton."_

_"But you’re comfortable, maybe you should stop being comfortable."_

_"Barton, I swear to god-"_

_"Down, James."_

_Natasha sat down between them after swatting Clint’s legs away and gave Clint popcorn to shut him up and a drink to Bucky for the same reason._

_"We’re watching ‘Sunset Boulevard’ and there’s nothing you can do about it," Natasha said, making herself comfortable._

_"Can’t we watch Star Wars?" Clint nearly whined._

_"No," two other voices said in sync, Clint made a face and slouched on the couch curling around his popcorn, pouting petulantly._

_"Grow up, Barton," Bucky said with a roll of his eyes._

_"What’s the fun in that? Then I’d be all old and grumpy like you are," he said cheekily._

_"Is it okay for me to strangle him?" he asked Natasha, who was trying to ignore them as the movie started._

_"Only if you can do it quietly," she replied._

_"I don’t think I know how to be strangled quietly, but if it got me out of this, I’d totally let you do it."_

_"Crying shame," Bucky snorted._

_"I know right?" Clint sighed._

_"Both of you shut up before I make you be quiet."_

_"Yes, Ma’am," they both replied making her roll her eyes, they shared cocky grins over he head._

~*~

_Clint twitched awake and tried not to gasp, instead he took a long deep breath and carefully rolled out of bed, trying not to wake the other two on it._

_He glanced back at them and confirmed they were still out before he shuffled off into the living room and the adjacent kitchen, rubbing at his face as he did so._

_He was halfway through a glass of water when someone else entered, “Loki again?”_

_Clint turned and saw Bucky standing in the doorway, arms crossed loosely over a bare chest, Clint shrugged._

_"Sort of."_

_"You wanna talk about it?"_

_"You wanna hear me whine about it?"_

_Bucky rolled his eyes, “If I wasn't willing to hear you whine I wouldn't have asked.”_

_Clint sighed and shrugged, “It’s nothing new really, just…the normal stuff,” he turned back to the sink and set down the cup inside only for arms to wrap around his chest._

_"Yeah, sure if normal is the word you want to go with," Bucky murmured, setting his chin on Clint’s shoulder._

_"Like you would know what normal was if it hit you in the face with a frying pan," Clint retorted._

_"And you would, Circus-boy?"_

_"Why do you keep bringing that up? It’s like you think it’s insulting."_

_"It’s not?"_

_"No, I actually really enjoyed my time in the circus until it went to shit, no one really seems to care though," he grunted actually nudging at Bucky’s arms to get them off, despite how much better it made things to be held after nightmares, he was just very raw at the moment._

_"Aw, shit, Clint, that’s not what I- well it was I just-…crap," the brooklyn accent was thick, which Clint knew made him all Bucky, the one that was around when it was just the two of them, he was always a little different around Natasha._

_"It’s fine, Bucky," he said grabbing the glass of water again, but was stopped by a metal hand and turned around, Bucky looked concerned and apologetic._

_"No, I’m an ass, that was a stupid thing to say," he said and Clint shook his head._

_"It’s fine Bucky, really, people say shit like that to me all the time when they find out, I think Tony came up with a whole slue of circus themed jokes when he found out."_

_"Yeah, but you shouldn't have to put up with it from me, I’m an idiot," he said, and Clint rolled his eyes._

_"I totally knew that, Natasha likes to remind you daily," he said sweetly then shook his head, "It’s fine Bucky, really I know you’re not trying to be an asshole about it, it’s really okay, I’ll get over it, I’m just really…" he shrugged, "Right now."_

_Bucky nodded, and then smirked at him, “What if I gave you a blow job?”_

_Clint coughed, “Well…” he laughed, “That would be nice, but Natty would feel left out,” he said and Bucky hummed._

_"That does pose as a problem."_

_"Guess we’d better wake her up, huh?"_

_"We’d best, yes."_

_Clint laughed and let Bucky drag him back to the bedroom where, of course, Natasha was already awake and seemed to know what the plan was, Clint really had no time to think about his nightmares or any other sad thoughts that night, and finally fell into a restful sleep curled up between two of the deadliest people in the world, feeling more safe than he had in years._

~*~

_Clint woke up from his midday nap with fingers in his hair, he hummed appreciatively and turned to nuzzle the hand._

_Natasha chuckled softly, “Are you sure you’re not part cat, Moy yastreb?”_

_"Mmm, if I say yes will you stop?" he mumbled tiredly._

_"No," she promised amused, her fingers continuing to card trough his hair, he hummed again and then wiggled to make room for her when she sat down and continued to run her fingers through his hair until he was asleep again._

_She must have pulled a book because the next time Clint woke up to the door opening, she had one on her lap._

_"Hey, did I miss anything?" Bucky asked smacking Clint’s feet out of the way so he could sit on the couch too, Clint grunted and put his feet on Bucky too, earning a smack to his ass._

_"If you think Clint impersonating a cat is anything, then no," Natasha said mildly._

_"Does he purr?"_

_"We can find out," Natasha grinned._

_"Don’t you dare," Clint grumbled, and Natasha and Bucky shared grins over him, and then promptly started to tickle the ever living crap out of him._

_Naturally that turned into an all out tickle war between the three of them and they ended up with the coffee table and the couch overturned in their bids to escape each other’s fingers. They were splayed out on the floor in an ungraceful heap, panting and quelling chuckles._

_"I hate you guys, I was napping," Clint said from under Natasha’s leg and on Bucky’s arm._

_"I think you’ll get over it," Bucky said muzzily, happy and content in the aftermath of the endorphin onslaught._

_"What if I don’t though? What if I’m scarred for life?" Clint asked back and Natasha rolled over so she was laying more fully on him._

_"That’s okay, we’ll find another use for you," Bucky said, rolling over and grinning crookedly._

_"You make a good pillow," she said, smirking at him, "I think it’s my turn to nap."_

_"Aw, come on, I’m not tired anymore," he whined and then Bucky laid his head on Clint’s chest, next to Natasha._

_"You’re right he does, a nap does sound good," he agreed, totally ignoring Clint’s words and making himself comfortable._

_"Guys, hey, come on," he tried, "I have to pee!" Still no response._

_"Guuuys!"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These memories don't really have any chronological order, they just are some times they've spent together. And do you know how hard it is for three of the most talented assassins to have fluffy cuddly time? It's hard!
> 
> Moy Yastrab = My Hawk
> 
> Edited: 2/22/15


	6. Fool's Awakening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint's back.

It had been five months, and there had been no sign. 

Natasha and Bucky were still completely effective on the field, but outside of it none of the other members of the team could connect with them, though they tried, Steve had tried the hardest, but the loss of the blond marksman had effected them all and it was hard to get on without his snark and attitude. 

That, however, did not mean they had given up. They always searched, JARVIS was running a program to alert them the moment someone fitting his description crossed a camera, and of course Natasha and Bucky continued to search any Red Room bases they knew of, though it was easy enough to conclude that they had new ones by now, they still looked.

But occasionally Avengers things would call them away from the search, Barney had taken to substituting for Clint as he was also a very skilled archer and had a good grip of working with a team, he was good and they appreciated it, but they all agreed it wasn't the same missing Clint. Barney didn't take it personally, he was pretty much only sticking around because he wanted his brother back just as much as they did.

They were trudging out of the wreckage of a pile of robots, Bucky helping Natasha out from under some of them while Stark looked through their parts muttering to himself about shoddy craftsmanship and the Hulk sulked, wanting food now that he was out of things to smash, Falcon was off with Steve helping with civilians, and Thor was finishing off the transmitter, who knew lightning was so useful?- when an arrow landed right on the pile of robots and exploded sending the parts and people everywhere. Natasha and Bucky went flying back, both hitting a building, Natasha went through a window.

"What the fuck, Barton?!" Bucky snapped in the comm., peeling himself off of the brick wall he'd dented with his arm.

"That wasn't me, I'm out of arrows," Barney replied tersely.

"Then who the hell was-?" he started but was tackled by Natasha as another arrow came straight for his head.

She looked up spotting the figure that was walking towards them, not even trying to hide, not rushing just making their steady way towards them, bow raised another arrow nocked ready to be released. They wore black from head to toe, a hood obscured their face.

But Natasha already had a sick feeling in her gut, she knew who it was. From Bucky's expression, he did too.

"Fuck," Barney breathed, he knew that stance anywhere, he could see the difference between him and Barney, aside from the slight differences to their statures, there was the placement of the elbow, the hold of the shoulders, he knew them intimately.

"What's going on?" Tony demanded, only able to see where Natasha and Bucky were, down a different street and obviously irritated that his tinkering had been interrupted and he'd had to blast himself out of the robot parts.

"Is more trouble afoot?" Thor asked sounding concerned, he was several blocks away, and already heading back now that the transmitter was destroyed.

"Bucky?" Steve asked, also concerned, but he had a feeling he knew what was going on anyway, he stopped by the Hulk, wanting to keep him from reacting badly, Bruce would never forgive himself if he hurt any of them.

"Clint's back," Natasha said, voice hard, but eyes wavering at the sight of her archer. She and Bucky both knew that something was not right.

~

_Clint was slack in the restraints, drained of energy, throat raw from screaming, chest heaving, trying to catch his breath. The images still burned into his mind, the memories of abandonment and being tossed aside fresh and clear at the forefront._

_"Now do you see, my darling? They do not deserve you, we must take action or it will haunt you, don't you think?" Yelena purred, once again running her fingers through his hair, something that he used to love, but seemed spoiled by Natasha's betrayal._

_After a very long pause, still trying to regain his breath he spoke, voice gruff, quiet, broken, "Yes."_

_Yelena smiled._

~

"I'm guessing that's not a good thing," Tony said, "What's going on?"

"He's shooting at us," Natasha said just as she dodged another arrow, knowing he wasn't out for the kill just yet, because Clint never missed, he was just fucking with them. Bucky knocked another one away with his metal arm.

"That seems like a personal problem," Tony muttered.

"Stark!" Steve snapped, scolding.

"No, he's right, you guys don't get involved, he's here for us, we'll call you in if absolutely necessary, but just leave it to us right now," Bucky said and there were clear protests but Bucky and Natasha shot them down and eventually they all agreed and waited in the shadows and sidelines while someone had to try and explain to Hulk why his Cupid was attacking the others. It was a hard conversation, as the Hulk and Clint had been pretty good friends.

After clearly being toyed with for a several minutes, Bucky and Natasha were a ways away from the others, from the previous battle and in a clear area, Clint stopped about twenty feet away and stayed there. They'd been drawn away intentionally, and they were both tense, waiting for the shoe to drop.

Bucky and Natasha watched him, but Natasha whipped around the second she felt someone staring at her, Bucky would have her back, she turned to see Yelena standing there, looking smug.

" **Здравствуйте Наташа** ," she smirked, " **Вы меня пропустили?** "

"Yelena," Natasha stated, not in the least bit pleased.

"You did miss me," she cooed and then let out a tinkling laugh, "Do you like what I've done with him? That purple and black ensemble was so very tacky, don't you think?"

"I highly doubt that's the only thing you've changed about him," Bucky said eyes still on Clint who was completely still.

"So clever, Soldier," she drawled and walked passed them like she didn't find them dangerous. She walked over to Clint and then gently tugged the hood down, Clint's hair was shaggy and unkempt, any other day and it would be endearing, but today it made him look uncared for, neglected and dirty.

And his eyes, normally twinkling and bright were dull and staring straight ahead. It wasn't something either of his lovers wanted to see. Yelena stopped next to him, her hand raised so she could run her fingers down his cheek.

"I think he's done quite nicely, don't you?"

"Yelena, let him go, he has nothing to do with us," Natasha said and Yelena smiled.

"Oh Natalia, you know that's not possible, it's too late for that," she chuckled, "No." She let out a soft sigh and set her head on Clint's shoulder, "He has everything to do with it, Natalia, you got everything, and you wasted everything you were given, you don't deserve it anymore."

"So you're going to what? Take it away?" Bucky asked sarcastically, Yelena chuckled.

"Of course not," she said and got on her toes and kissed Clint's cheek, "He is," she said before whispering something in his ear, a second later his eyes cleared and were filled with nothing but uncontrollable rage, she pet his cheek once more and then turned and walked away, "Have fun, my darling~"

The second she was gone Clint was moving, arrows flying through the air, this time with no reservations and a strong intent to kill. Yelena had made it difficult. Either Clint would kill them, or he wouldn't give up until he was dead. She would pay. But first things first. They had to get Clint back.

Bucky had the best chance of getting close first, as he was able to block his arrows with his arm, but Clint wouldn't let him get within ten feet of him, he was constantly moving. He had Natasha pinned to a building by her shoulder first thing, catching her by surprise by the sheer ferocity he'd come at them, he had her pinned and then went onto Bucky, obviously intending to come back to her later. Bucky was harder because of the arm it was able to do more than block and that was why Clint wouldn't let him get close, but Clint aimed for his vulnerable spots, knowing them easily, having sparred with them both so often.

Taking Bucky out would be the greater challenge but also more devastating to Natasha, as she would have to watch it, Yelena had 'trained' him to be the most effective at damaging her emotionally. Natasha would not let her get away with it.

Bucky finally got close enough to get the bow out of Clint's hands after a struggle, but that wasn't enough. Then Clint had guns, and knives, those where knocked away as well but Clint was still very skilled at hand to hand and wasn't holding back, his rage fueling him. His punches were swift and kicks were hard, but Bucky wouldn't just sit down and take it. He knew that would just hurt Clint more in the end, so he was trying to pin him, to talk some sense into him, but he wasn't easily pinned. He'd obviously been holding back in their sparring. They would need to talk about that later.  
Clint got in a good hit sending Bucky down, but seconds later, Natasha was taking his place, swift and not tired in the least, Clint was tiring now, and it was showing, so he brought out the last tool at his disposal. Words.

"Traitors!" he snarled, "Liars! I never should have trusted you!"

"Clint, plea-" Natasha started but Clint didn't give her a chance he had another knife and swung it at her face.

"NO! I won't listen to you!" he snarled, "You'll just keep lying to me!" Switching the knife between hands when Natasha blocked, a move he'd learned from Bucky, he went for a gut stab but an arrow came out of nowhere and knocked it out of his hand. Clint spun around in shock when another archer appeared, but the sight only fueled his rage further.  
"Traitors! Liars! You replaced me! I hate you!" he screamed at them, and though they both knew it was just the fake memories talking, it still made them flinch, though the screaming didn't last long.

Barney wasn't just going to let this stand, he'd spent the time of the fight gathering arrows and now he was aiming at Clint moving him away from Bucky and Natasha, it was working, finally he had him against a wall and was able to pin him then approach him as he struggled.

"Clint!" he barked, in a tone he knew deep down would make his brother listen, for once looking and sounding like their father was an advantage.

Clint twitched, and looked at him wide eyed, stuck in some kind of limbo between mental planes.

"The hell do you think yer doin'?" he growled and Clint's eyes shifted just slightly out of what he'd been caught in.

"B-Barney?" he asked, almost begged.

"Yeah, Clint it's me, yer gonna be okay," he promised, relief flooding through him, his shoulders dropped and his stance relaxed he placed a hand on Clint's neck and jaw, supporting him as his baby brother started to fall apart.

"I- Can't- Barn- I don't want-" he was sobbing now, choking on them, "I don't remember-"

"It's okay, Clint, shhh, I've got you now," he murmured, feeling heartbroken at seeing his brother like this, "You're gonna be okay."

He pulled the arrows that were pinning his clothes to the wall, murmuring softly the whole time to keep him calm, he took the last one out and there was a loud gunshot through the deserted street, Clint flinched at the sound and Barney's head snapped up and suddenly smoke filled the air, clouding his vision, Bucky and Natasha were running to them

"Fuck," the redhead hissed, and the next second he was knocked away, he heard Clint's voice sounding surprised and the sound of him struggling, the next second there was silence and only the sound of footsteps hurrying. "No! Fuck! Clint!"

The smoke cleared and the only people there were Bucky and Natasha, panting from their effort of getting there as fast as they could.

"He's gone," Barney glared down at the arrows scattered at their feet.

"Dammit," Bucky snarled and kicked the wall.

Natasha glared off into the distance, hand covering the wound on her shoulder. Yelena would pay dearly for this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, Barney is basically my hero. He's going to be important. I love him dearly. But it's still Bucky/Nat/Clint because best ot3 ever!
> 
> Russian in this chapter: "Hello Natasha, have you missed me?"
> 
> Edited: 2/22/15


	7. Fool's Cracking

Clint jerked in the restraints and let out another broken cry as his hair was yanked on, hard.

"Who was that, darling, you need to tell me now," Yelena hissed in Clint's ear, he was once again strapped to the chair, he didn't like it, all he knew was that it hurt -more than anything in the world, it hurt so much- to be in it.

"I don't- Aaah! He's-!" he took in a few quick breaths battling phantom pain, "B-Barney..." he whispered, "H-He's...I don't..." he shook his head. Barney, Barney was...he was important. He was, he just couldn't remember why.

"Good, darling," she cooed, releasing the grip on his hair, petting it once more, "Don't worry, he won't be a problem soon, then you can carry out your revenge without any more hiccups, doesn't that sound lovely?"

"Y-yes..." he murmured, eyes going glassy again as she pushed his head back once more, despite the warnings from the technicians about his mind not being able to handle another wipe so soon after how much he'd been through, she wanted it done. She didn't care.

She wanted Romanova dead at her feet and her little boys dead too.

~

"She couldn't have gone far," Natasha said, "She can't risk him breaking out of her programming and being too far from...it," she said, Bucky nodded grimly. Thinking that the same had been done to Clint that had been done to them was really sickening and just not something he wanted to consider, but at this point, it was obvious that that was what had happened.

Clint had been wiped and then programmed to hate them, it was sloppy though considering the short time it had taken, but that was all the more dangerous, he would be unstable, and more likely to break. It was obvious Yelena didn't care what became of Clint. Which only served to enrage them further and strengthen their resolve to get him back and to take her down.

"Right...so...where is she?" Barney demanded, looking more and more sour, seeing his brother like that and now discussing what had been done had not improved his mood, or temper at all.

"I have to look into it, hopefully we'll have a location in a few hours," she said, even that was too slow for her, but it was better to find the place the first go than storm any maybe spots and wear themselves out. "I already have a good idea as to where, but I need to confirm, remain on standby and wait for my call."

Bucky nodded, he didn't look happy about being left behind, but he understood the logic. Barney did too but he looked a lot less accepting of it, however he said nothing, finding Clint was more important than arguing.

~

Natasha let out a short breath before she headed out, she thought she knew where Yelena was hiding out but needed to make sure.

She was also trying to get her shit together, she knew that Yelena had a bone to pick with both her and James, but mostly just her.

When Hydra had loaned out The Winter Soldier to train the girls in Red Room, Natalia had ended up being the best and had then received special treatment, and more advanced training from the Soldier. She knew now that it had been intended for the other girls to hate her, they certainly weren't supposed to like her, that was for sure.

Natasha got preferential treatment and eventually James himself, he'd stopped being the Soldier and was James just for her. However unintended and secret it was meant to be it didn't stop the hate it garnered from the other girls. Yelena had been jealous, Natalia knew that, but honestly didn't care.

Now she only wished she'd killed her when she had the chance. She'd gone about destroying Red Room as much as she possibly could, but some things had slipped her tender mercies. She was going to do it this time, Yelena wouldn't survive this one way or another, no one fucked with Natasha's good things, she had fought long and hard for her boys, and she wasn't going to lose them.

Natasha came to the abandoned warehouse a little outside of Queens, she only needed to see that there was a lock on an 'empty' warehouse to know she'd found at least one of the rebooted Red Room locations, she just needed to find out if this was where Clint was being kept.

She broke in undetected, slinking in the shadows and even the vents, a handy trick she'd learned from Clint, snooping around to hear any word of her lost hawk.

After she got what she needed she disappeared.

She and the other two people who cared about Clint had some rescuing and wrecking to do, and it would be done very soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't have a beta, fyi, so I have some things that I miss, if there's anything major, please tell me. I try to read over my work a few times and fix as I go, but I don't always get everything.  
> Also thank you so much for all the comments so far! It's really encouraging!
> 
> Edited: 2/22/15


	8. Interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little more memory stuffs. Barney is in here too. WARNING: Mentions of Child Abuse. That is all.

_"Ba'ney?" A little blond boy with big blue eyes waddled over to his redheaded big brother and crawled up on his lap on the couch._

_"Oof," Barney said and Clint giggled and hugged him, Barney poked him gently but didn't tell him to get off, "What'dya want?"_

_"Awthuw say Bustewr he best frien', what a best frien'?" Clint asked looking up at his brother in curiosity._

_Barney frowned and thought on that a moment, "A best friend is someone you can always count on, and make sure you're okay, and give you snacks when Mama says no," Barney said._

_"Oh," Clint bobbed his head, he traced the pattern on his brother's shirt, thinking, "That mean Ba'ney my best frien'!" He declared and then wrapped his arms around his brother who 'oofed' again and then laughed and hugged his little brother back._

_"You're my best friend too," he said, "Ya brat," he squeezed, "Now what'dya wanna watch?"_

_"Turrkles!" Clint cheered, wanting to watch Teenaged Mutant Ninja Turtles, Barney didn't mind, he turned it on and then snuggled up on the couch with Clint, smiling at their mother who was looking at them fondly from the door._

_At this age, Barney was Clint's whole world, despite the bad things, when things were good, they were worth remembering._

~

_Clint wiggled his butt in time with the music as he mixed the pancake batter, humming along with the pop song on the radio. There was a snort from behind him and he turned around and sang the last line of the song at Bucky, who was standing in the door._

_"Don't quit your day job," he said wandering into the kitchen to look at the batter, he stuck a finger in and Clint smacked him with the spatula._

_"None for you," he said, "No pancakes for jerks."_

_"Even if I say you're not a totally terrible singer?"_

_"Especially then."_

_Bucky made a face grabbed the spoon in the bowl and made to put it in his mouth but instead it splattered and got on Clint's cheek, he laughed._

_"Oh you asked for it now," Clint narrowed his eyes dipped his fingers in the batter and then flicked it at Bucky, getting him in the face._

_Bucky gaped at him, and then lunged and soon enough they were both covered in batter as was most of the kitchen._

_"What are you doing?" Natasha asked looking at them incredulously, as she stepped into the messy kitchen._

_"What's it look like?" Clint asked, shrugging as some batter dripped off his nose.._

_"We're makin' breakfast." Bucky said nodding, batter dripping from his hair._

_"It's a great beauty regimen, Natty~" Clint sing-songed holding up a glop of batter, "Silky smooth skin~"_

_"Don't you dare, Barton, I swear I'll-" she was interrupted when a big glop splattered on her chest, dripping down her semi exposed breasts. Bucky was smirking, Clint was looking positively gleeful._

_"You are both going to dearly regret this," she said evenly, and then she had batter in her hands and was shoving it in both of their faces and the war continued until all three assassins were covered from head to toe in pancake batter, sitting on the ground panting from the exertion and laughter._

_"Screw you guys," Clint said flopping on the floor, "I was hungry."_

_Bucky and Natasha didn't look in the least bit sorry, if their smirks were any indication._

_Clint couldn't bring it in himself to care, he could always make more._

_~_

_Clint sniffled, his face buried in his arms as he hid under his bed, his cheek really hurt, it would probably bruise, they usually did. Dad would get angry and hurt him and his brother and his Mama. Clint hated that. He hated he couldn't do anything. He was too small. Though he tried._

_The door to his bedroom opened and closed, footsteps stopped at the bed and Clint tensed, hiding his head further in his arms. There was a sound and then someone was shuffling under the bed with him, he squeaked and there was a hand on his head._

_"S'okay, Clint, s'just me," his brother said softly, Clint looked up at him, his eyes shining with tears._

_"Didn't mean ta," he hiccuped and Barney smiled, there was a bruise forming on his cheek too._

_"I know, s'okay, really, he's a bastard," Barney said grinning when Clint put his hands over his mouth and giggled at the bad word, "But you gotta stop trying to get him back, Clint, yer too small, he'll get you each time." Barney said tilting his head at Clint, "And you gotta know how to fight too."_

_"How?" Clint repeated and Barney nodded._

_"Yeh," he said and smiled, "S'okay, I can teach ya, if you want."_

_"You will?" Clint asked feeling more and more energized Barney bobbed his head._

_"Course, and maybe we'll sneak some ice cream later too," he grinned and Clint giggled._

_"Yeah!" Looking at his big brother with utter adoration. He had the best big brother ever._

~

_"Clint, move over," a quite voice said from above him, he groaned and moved his butt about an inch over, "Come on moy yastreb, I'm tired."_

_"Can lay on me," he muttered, "M' a good pillow, 'member?"_

_"You are incorrigible," she said and chuckled then crawled over him anyway and laid herself between Clint and Bucky. They both moved once she'd settled, Clint spooning her from behind and Bucky threw his flesh arm over them both._

_"How was it?" Bucky muttered still a little sleep clogged as he nuzzled her hair, Natasha sighed almost in contentment._

_"Fine," she said and both men snorted, "It went as well as such a mission would go," she corrected, Clint hummed._

_"Next time I'll seduce the rich guy," he promised into her shoulder and the other two both laughed._

_"I would pay good money to see that," Bucky chuckled._

_"I'm sure you would, if you're good maybe I'll give you a private viewing," Clint drawled._

_"I just might let you."_

_"I am never leaving you two alone again," Natasha said rolling her eyes._

_"Okay," they said in unison. There was a short pause and then she laughed softly._

_"Idiots," she said but it was utterly fond, Clint nuzzled her and Bucky kissed her forehead, "But you are mine."_

_"Yup, can't get rid of us now," Clint said._

_"Stuck," Bucky agreed._

_"Oh woe is me," she laughed, "Now hush, I'm tired."_

_"As you wish," Clint said._

_"You let him watch the Princess Bride didn't you?" Natasha asked Bucky accusingly._

_"It's inconceivable I know."_

_Natasha groaned and the boys laughed and snuggled her more, like they did for whoever went on the mission and came back. It was tradition, just as much as it was to keep the nightmares at bay, and it worked._

~

_Clint looked at his brother and then down at his ratty sneakers, then back. Barney was always so angry these days and Clint just didn't know what to do._

_They were being sent off to another Foster home and it was clear to Clint that Barney had no desire to be sent off to more people just like their dad. Clint's ribs still hurt from the last one._

_Barney spun around and marched out of the door, leaving Clint to scramble after him._

_"Barney," he called trying to catch up, "What's wrong?"_

_"I'm done with this shit, we don't gotta put up with this!" the redheaded pre-teen spat, "I'm leavin', I don't care what that bitch says."_

_"Y-you're gonna leave?" Clint said, wondering why he was going to be left behind, had he done something wrong, "B-but-"_

_"We're leavin'," Barney corrected, "Can't 'xactly leave ya alone...too much trouble."_

_Clint bit his lip and looked down again, not noticing that his brother was just teasing, "But I thought..." he whispered._

_"What?"_

_"Though we were best friends?" he said even more softly, and Barney snorted then bumped him in the shoulder gently, he couldn't believe Clint had kept that up since he was five._

_"Maybe," he shrugged and before Clint's feelings could really get hurt, "What we are for sure though, is brothers, we're always gonna be brothers. Won't let nothin' change that, yeah? Nothin' can change it, yer my little brother, gotta watch out for ya."_

_Clint looked up to see his brother's crooked grin, he smiled back, the tears fading from his eyes, "I will too, cause, cause you're my brother too, someone's gotta look out for you too," he said determined._

_Barney barked out a surprised laugh then snagged his little brother and gave him a noogie squeezing him gently after much flailing and laughter._

_"Guess yer right," he said, "Thanks, Clint, yer not too bad fer a brat."_

_"Hey!" Clint cried indignantly._

_"So...I hear the circus is in town," Barney said as if he hadn't said anything at all, though his grin belied otherwise, Clint was suitably distracted though._

_"The circus?"_

_"Yeah, bro, the circus."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I realize that Arthur is from the nineties and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is from the eighties, buuut I was not alive in the late seventies when that scene takes place so I am not familiar with their cartoons in order to make the same comparison. Thank you for your cooperation.  
> Also first scene Clint is five, Barney is eight.  
> Middle scene Clint is six, Barney is nine.  
> Last scene Clint is nine, Barney is twelve.
> 
> Edited: 2/22/15


	9. Fool's Cry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It all comes to a head.

"They come quickly, Belova, there is no time to finish-"

"I don't care! Just get him prepared, I will have him feed Romanova one of his arrows even if I have to lead his hand myself! She will get her end! Just do it!"

"As you say."

Clint was too far in his head to really make sense of what was going on, he hurt, there was a dull ache in every part of his body, and everything seemed foggy, and tired and empty.

He just wanted to sleep.

He didn't want to wake up.

~

They had a plan, of course they weren't going to just rush in, they were assassins (except for Barney), after all. They were all about finesse, exact planning and precision.

Barney was just as apt at crawling through vents as his brother, though not with as much of a finesse as Clint as he was just a bit slimmer than he was in the shoulders, but he could still make it quietly and undetected.

Natasha and Bucky were going to take out the several dozen guards that were around the base, it was fairly easy pickings. Once inside Barney was supposed to find Clint and then let them know when he was found while Natasha found Yelena and Bucky took out the computer systems which was what kept the less than humane forms of programming out of commission. It was simple and easy, so far it seemed to be going flawlessly.

And that was exactly what it was supposed to look like, until they made it to their destinations and found an ambush instead, it was a lot harder of a fight than they thought, but with Clint's life hanging in the balance, Natasha and Bucky didn't put up as much of a fight as they could have. However, it was sometimes better to play along.

They were brought into the main room, Yelena was already there, Clint was standing off to the side, slightly behind her, same outfit, bow and quiver equipped, but it didn't escape their notice that he was wavering just slightly, and the Hydra agents behind him had firm grips on his arms to keep him upright. The only good thing about this situation was that Barney was nowhere to be seen.

"Our honored guests have finally arrived," Yelena drawled, opening her hands as if to embrace them, but that was unlikely. Instead she spun around, "Do you like what I've done with the place? This was an old KGB facility, right in the middle of New York, and now it's Hydra's, isn't that a lovely coincidence?"

Neither of them said a word, all she got was completely blank faces, very angry assassins knew better than to show it.

"No? If you insist we can just get the show on the road," she said, smiling dangerously, "Oh, my pet," she cooed, walking back over to Clint, and petting his face, ignoring that he twitched at the contact. "Can't you see? They're just using you, they don't even care what's going to happen, they only fight so hard for you because they don't want you to be mine, all you've ever thought of them is true," she cooed, that got a fist clench from Bucky and a slight down turned brow from Natasha.

They knew how much Clint thought he didn't belong with them, he never said and he never let on, but they could tell. They knew him well enough. That she was manipulating those already twisted thoughts made them incredibly angry.

Though Clint was shaking greatly now, struggling to stay up and attack at the same time in the two other men's arms, his eyes went from raged to glossy, he'd been so messed with it was driving him insane.

"Well, what do you say pet? Wouldn't you like to have your revenge?" His hands twitched and she smiled, "Release him." She said and then Clint had his bow raised and an arrow nocked. She chuckled and walked forward, smirking imperiously at the two of them. 

They were waiting however, they still had an ace in the hole.

"You're about to be killed by your lover, isn't that just beautiful? Your lover, now my pet, ha," she laughed, "I've waited for this for so long I-"

She stopped. There had been a soft twang and then a thuwp of an arrow releasing and making contact with a body.

She stuttered, taking a step forward from the force, then looked down at the arrow protruding from her sternum, she turned to look at Clint, whose eyes were clear for just one moment.

"I...am...not...yours," he choked out, and then all hell broke loose, the two men who'd been holding him pulled out guns as did the many others who were around the room, Natasha and Bucky were in action in a second, it wasn't the ace they'd been waiting for, but they would take it, using the distraction to take down the guards as all hell broke loose, gunshots rang, and arrows started to fly from the vent, downing the other shooters.

Clint dropped only a few seconds in, Natasha and Bucky both wanted to make sure he was okay but were a bit busy, Barney on the other hand was out of the vent and rushing to his brother in seconds, taking out more and more men as he went until he was at Clint's side, feeling him over, cursing when he pulled him around and his hand came back red from a wound on his shoulder, looking him over he saw one more lower on his side.

"Dammit! Clint don't you dare do this to me!" he yelled, putting pressure on the wounds, Clint's eyes opened a bit, glassy but more clear than they had been.

"...Bar...ney..." he muttered, eyes blinking fast, "So...tired...." he looked like he wanted to say more but his eyes closed again.

"Clint!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No, Clint is not going to die.


	10. Fool's Sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint needs to heal, but so do his loved ones.

The steady beep of the EKG machine was the only sound in the secure hospital room.

Three bodies sat around, unmoving as they had been, while the another prone form lay on the bed, hands twitching on occasion.

Clint lay on the bed, his hands cuffed to the bed, they weren't sure what he'd be like when he awoke, it was a precaution, one none of them liked but, for now, it was needed, he also needed to stay put, he had wounds that needed healing and he had a bad habit of fleeing from hospitals.

There was nothing more that they could do. So they waited.

~

The end of the fight had come quickly, the Hydra goons that Yelena had depended on were easy kills, obviously Hydra had not really been on her side. Interesting. However, irrelevant.

But Yelena had tried to fight Natasha, she hadn't done well, while the arrow in her had definitely impeded her, she didn't make it far against The Black Widow and The Winter Soldier.

They had called what was the new SHIELD and had Clint taken off to a hospital, Barney had gone with while Natasha and Bucky stayed behind to deal with the rest.

Natasha stared down at Yelena's body blankly, no emotion on her face as she took in the appearance of the one who had tried to ruin her life more than once.

"It's not over yet," she told Bucky when she felt him step up next to her, "Clint is still..."

"He'll get better though, he's a stubborn little shit," Bucky said, glad to see the slight twitch on the red head's lips.

"I know, but it will be hard, I have never seen..." she let out a sigh closing her eyes, the image of Clint barely able to hold himself up, when usually he was so sure of his movements. Shaky and his eyes so unclear. It was heartbreaking seeing him like that.

"She must've done something else to him, I'll see if any of the scientist are still alive," he rested his hand on her shoulder, "We'll get this, **мы не потеряем ему свою балерину**."

She nodded and watched as Yelena's body was taken away, her only regret was that her death had come too quickly.

~

"How long is he supposed to stay out?" Bucky asked, looking at Clint who was still pale and drawn out on the hospital bed.

"The docs say at least 'nother few days, it's ta help his wounds heal an' his head," Barney replied letting out a soft sigh, "I hate seein' 'im like this."

"Don't think anyone is real fond of this situation," Bucky replied, glancing at Natasha whose eyes hadn't left Clint's face since she'd sat down.

He sighed, "Hey, man," he said to Barney, "You should go home, get some rest probably be better if you're here when he wakes up, but you're no good to him right now, might as well see your girl," he said and Barney let out a soft breath, frowning in thought. He was exhausted and his girl had been worried through the whole ordeal, she'd want to know the updates too.

"Yeah...alright, call me if anything happens," he said standing and leaving with a tired wave.

Bucky waited for the door to close before setting his hands on Natasha's shoulders, "It's not your fault," he said softly, she tensed, and he knew he'd hit the nail on the head without even trying. He recognized that too stiff posture and the deep look in her eyes.

"If I had-"

"There's a lot of ifs involved with this, if I hadn't been so protective of you, if I hadn't been an ass, if the fight hadn't happened, he wouldn't have been out of the apartment at all, but it did happen and there's nothing we can do about it."

She sighed, "You are incredibly wise for an idiot," she said reaching up to take his hand.

"You're so sweet," he drawled, "But seriously, Yelena was coming one way or another, she just got to Clint, won't ever happen again though."

"No, it won't."

~

Natasha and Bucky took turns watching over Clint as he slept, they both knew that they shouldn't expect a full recovery when he woke. They didn't know what to expect when he woke at all, he might remember them, he might not, he might think they were his greatest enemies. They didn't know.

They both could go on without Clint, that much was clear, they were both strong and independent people.

However, they didn't want to. Clint had been the reason Natasha had come to SHIELD, to clean her ledger, she made a friend in Clint and then some, he was always there for her, honest when she needed someone to call her on her bullshit, or when she just needed to hear the truth.

He always had her back in anything they did together, she realized now how much trust she had in him, even at the start, he'd had her back, more than she realized, he could have taken her down so many times, but hadn't.  
She owed him a lot, and this was the first step of making sure he was here to get it.

She pressed her lips to his forehead, "You need to return to me, I won't forgive you otherwise, Clint," she promised softly.

~

Bucky stared at Clint while he slept, mouth a firm line as he tried not to let guilt eat away at him. Logically, he knows that something would have happened regardless of him being an ass.

But he still should have had his head on straight, when it came to Natasha- Natalia, he went on automatic, if she was hurt, he hurt the one who hurt her. 

But he'd seen the footage, Clint's arrow had diverted falling debris onto the two enhanced assassins who could handle it rather than the group of school children on the other side who could have been seriously injured or killed.

And then a secondary explosion unrelated to Clint at all had made too much debris fall on Natalia and resulted in her injury.

He was an idiot.

But he shouldn't blame himself. Clint likely would have been out and about on his own anyway, after battles they usually had a good dinner, and if someone was hurt they had a really good dinner, Clint was the one who liked cooking so he usually went out for ingredients. They would have taken him then, the only difference is that they would have known at least twelve hours before they had this time.

Chances of that making him easier to find, however, was the question.

There was no way of knowing, and basically that meant Bucky needed to stop blaming himself for that. And he supposed he could, logically it made sense.

What he couldn't do was forgive himself for what he'd done to actually make Clint leave, he couldn't get the sight of Clint's terrified eyes out of his mind, he was sure it would haunt him until he died. Clint was his too, he was deserving of just as much fierce protectiveness as Natalia. He knew that, making sure his alter-ego knew that was the more difficult part.

"You just have to give me a chance, ass," he muttered, "Yeah, you hear? You can't let this be the really anticlimactic end, not your style."

He raised a hand to brush his fingers over Clint's forehead, missing the crinkles that appeared when he smiled.

He realized now the thing he missed most was Clint's stupid cocky grin, what he wouldn't give to see it again.

He would, he and Natalia would get him back, even if it took decades.

He would be theirs again and always.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Russian in this chapter: "We will not lose him, my ballerina."
> 
> Edited: 2/22/15


	11. Interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More memories before Clint wakes up.

_The first time he met Bucky he was pretty sure Barnes didn't like him and he had no idea why._

_He first noticed this when he walked into a debriefing room with Natasha, he was grinning at her because of something he'd said that had earned him a patented Natasha Romanov eye roll. Totally worth it._

_He'd scanned everyone in the room with a quick one over in between chuckles, as he was won't to do, it was just habit._

_Tony had been occupied with one of his tablets, Bruce had smiled at them timidly but went back to poking at some equations with an old fashioned pen and paper._

_Steve had been speaking with Sam about something, and then the man in the corner, he was glaring death at Clint like he had personally killed the man's hamster. Clint knew who he was, he knew what he was capable of and he knew the wrong move would prove disastrous, he noticed the Winter Soldier hated him, and that was a bit disconcerting._

_He didn't act like he noticed though, he could tell Natasha had too, though the man's eyes had softened at the sight of her._

_That was something Clint wouldn't soon forget._

~

_The next time Bucky came across Clint and Natasha, it was to what appeared to be Clint gnawing on Natasha's shoulder._

_He looked at him wide eyed when he stopped at the door of the kitchen, Natasha looking like she had better things to do than be chewed on._

_They were frozen in that pose for a full minute before Clint let go of Natasha's shoulder and coughed. Because how were you supposed to explain something like that to someone just walking in?_

_"So..." he started, but then Barnes went to the fridge, grabbed a water bottle, gave Natasha a look, a deep look that had the redhead blushing- blushing! Natasha! What?!- and then he turned around and left._

_Clint gaped at her, "What the..?"_

_"Shut up, Barton, not a damn word." she said elbowing him in the gut._

_"And if you're so hungry then make something, don't come begging to me, you're a better cook than me anyway," she said and he pouted._

_"But I want those Russian sweet donut cake things you make," he replied poking her in the side, "Please?"_

_"You can make them better than me," she told him, her eyes went to the door Barnes had left through._

_"That's not the point," he grumbled, but wasn't oblivious, "Fine...sure I'll do it, you can go do...your thing," he said, waving at her, he knew she wanted to follow the other man out of the room, it wasn't like she was being subtle about it._

_She glanced at him, "Clint," she said and he smiled at her, trying to move on, she sighed but raised her hand to cup his cheek, not saying anything, he closed his eyes._

_Understanding what she was saying without words._

_"Go, go, I'll make the sweets," he said and she smiled, leaving to go speak with James._

~

_The third time, they were alone._

_Clint had sequestered himself down in the shooting range, firing arrow after arrow into the targets without a thought._

_He'd gone through three quivers by the time the door opened. He ignored it, figuring it was Natasha come to bug him about something. He didn't notice until he went to go gather his arrows that it wasn't Natasha._

_It was Barnes, and while Clint knew he was a skilled marksman he wasn't doing anything other than watching Clint._

_Clint put all of his arrows back in the quiver then looked over at him while he nocked another to start a new round, "Can I help you?"_

_There was a pause, "No," the man replied._

_"Right, glad we had that talk," he muttered to himself, but Bucky could still hear him._

_Bucky rolled his eyes and waited for Clint to get through several more arrows before speaking again, "I wondered why she was so protective of you."_

_Clint arched an eyebrow._

_"I asked her why she would want to be with someone like you," he turned his head and tapped a bruise on his jaw. Clint blinked, Natasha had punched him?_

_"Well, not that it's any of your business-"_

_"It is actually, she was mine before you were even born-"_

_"She's gonna punch you again for saying that."_

_"Shut up," he scowled, "She is and you're-"_

_"In the way?" Clint asked, "I'm really more hers than she is mine," he replied, "If it bugs you so much take it up with her," he said putting one arrow through another to cover his scowl._

_"I already did," Clint spun around._

_"And now you've come to me in hopes to what? Scare me away?" he snorted then marched forward and poked the other man in the chest, "Well tough shit, it takes more than that to scare me." He then shook his head, "I don't even know what your goddamn problem is, if you're worried about her picking me over you, that's stupid, Natasha is selfish she'd have us both if she could, but clearly you're the jealous type, and you thinking that you could play it into your hands is just-"_

_He was interrupted by a hand grabbing his shoulder and pulling him around, and lips suddenly shutting him up._

_Clint didn't respond as he was too shocked to even contemplate it._

_The Winter Soldier pulled back, smirking, eyes twinkling, but no, that was all Bucky Barnes right there, "Now I know what she sees in you," he cocked his head to the side looking smug, then he turned around and walked away._

_Clint just gaped._


	12. Fool's Cure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clinty's baaack.

His eyes opened slowly, he wasn't sure where he was, or why he was there, he wasn't even sure he knew who he was. He could feel needles in his arms and he wasn't sure why he needed them, he didn't like the idea of something going in him in a place he didn't know for unknown reasons.

He took in a shaky breath, panic was closing in and he could feel it building to the point of no return and then a familiar face was in front of him and a steadying hand was placed on his face, gentle and reassuring.

"Hey, hey it's okay," the man said softly, "Take a deep breath, that's right, you're safe."

"I-I'm safe?" he repeated, voice cracking and still shaky, his eyes moved swiftly, he had to make sure he was safe, looking for something -threats? more faces? anything that made sense?- but he didn't know what. His brain wasn't making the connections it should have.

"Hey, it's okay, look at me, come on Clint," the man said gently, a hand on his cheek now to keep his face looking at his own.

"C-Clint...?" he repeated, sounding a little more worried than before. Was that his name? It felt familiar and sounded like something he should know...but....

"Yes, it's okay, that's your name," the man said looking a little worried, but he was helping him sit up so he didn't know for sure, "Do you remember who I am?"

He looked at the man, he did look familiar, he had seen his face before, he did know it, but he couldn't remember the details.

"I...I think so...I don't..." he said shaking his head, this was too hard, he didn't know, "I'm s-sorry I don't know."

"It's okay," the man said, "I'm Barney, I'm your big brother."

"Bar...ney...?" he repeated, a small niggling in the back of his mind reassured him that this was the truth, "Barney..." he said more firmly, and the memory of a red haired boy taking his hand surfaced in his mind, "Barney," he repeated again, his hands shaking but holding firm to this man who he could but couldn't remember.

" _Barney, Barney, Barney._ "

He was gasping, repeating the name like it was air that he could finally breath, he pinched his eyes closed to focus on the memories crashing in his brain, burying his face in the man's chest as he whispered nonsense and reassurances into his hair.

~

"This is good progress, it tells us that aural recognition and words will help his memory, the best thing to do is simply talk to him," the doctor told them.

"What about any damage to his memories?" Bucky asked, arms crossed, mouth turned down just slightly.

"It's too early to tell, the next time one of you should go in with the brother, he has a positive bond with him at this point and hopefully will be able to overlay the negative connotation that was given to you with the conditioning, other than that, there is very little else we can do."

Natasha looked at Bucky and then through the observation window where Barney was still cradling Clint on the hospital bed, murmuring to him softly and rubbing his back.

She let out a sigh, they had come to an 'expert', but really it was something they both knew, they had gone through this themselves, the only thing they didn't know was if there was actual damage, which was why they'd come to the doctor in the first place, but so far it didn't seem like Clint was in immediate danger and the scans hadn't shown anything worrying, all they needed now was to be patient.

~

Clint, he was pretty sure that was who he was, at least that was his name, it felt like his name, that it was right when the man with the red hair -his brother- called him that. As for who he was, he was still figuring that part out.

Slowly his memories about his brother were coming in and settling in his head, solidifying. Most of his childhood was now restored, most of his life really up to a point, and that's where things got iffy.

Barney said that something had been done to him that had changed his memories of the people in the ones that were confusing. In some they seemed to be like they cared for him like they loved him, in other memories they acted completely different, cruel and distant.

He didn't know which ones were real.

"Clint?" a voice asked, and he looked up smiling at his brother as he came into the hospital room, "Becky made some cookies for you."

"Becky. Your wife Becky," he said to make sure he was remembering things correctly, though he watched as his brother's face started to match his hair in slight confusion and wondered if he'd gotten it wrong.

"Ahaha, not my wife yet, but...someday," he said rubbing the back of his head, cheeks still tinged pink.

Clint cocked his head to the side, "You should ask her," he said.

Barney made a face at him and poked his shoulder gently, "Hey, we're working on your love life right now, not mine."

"What do you mean?" Clint asked frowning, wondering if this had to do with his memories, but then again, it obviously did as that was why they were in here. He wondered if he'd always been this stupid or if it was a recent thing.

"Well...ya got those memories of two people, right?" Barney asked and Clint nodded slowly.

"Yes...you know them...?" he asked and Barney smiled crookedly.

"Sorta," he said, "We've gotten to know each other better since you were taken, but you still know them best...all considerin'."

"Oh..." he frowned, "I don't know what's true, and what's fake."

"Yeah, they said that was gonna be hard," Barney said, patting his shoulder, "But, you can do it."

"...right," he muttered. Barney chuckled.

"You wanna see if you get anything? We can have one of them come in if you want?"

"...I-I...guess..."

"We don't have to," Barney reassured but Clint shook his head, he was nervous, if these people were supposed to be his what...lovers? And he didn't remember them, or rather he remembered them wrong, then what happened if the decided they didn't want him anymore? Though he couldn't hold off the inevitable, so he might as well get it done with.

"No, I should...I need to see them eventually, right?" he said after a moment of thought.

"Alright, I'll ask one of them to come in, okay?"

He nodded, Barney stood and went to go let someone into the room.

Clint looked up his eyes widened at the sight of the other person standing before him. He knew them. He knew them well, his brain making connections faster than it had in days, he knew exactly who they were, and knew exactly what to do.

He attacked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's so short! D:


	13. Fool's Regret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things happen that do more things.

Clint woke from what felt like a dream, he remembered vaguely the moments that had led up to him being sedated, he'd attacked the person who had entered, he had been off of the hospital bed and trying to claw their eyes out in seconds, but they hadn't let that happen, they hadn't fought back, only help restrain him, get him back on the bed and pin him and restrain him there, they left, and then it was just Barney, trying to calm him as he desperately tried to get out of the restraints to take them out, he had to attack, that's what he'd been meant to do- but why? And then he had been slipped a mild sedative that hadn't seemed to be working, but the red haired man had stopped them from giving him more.

Barney. His brother.

He had talked him down from the high strung adrenaline pumped anger he'd been brought up it, bringing him back, or at least closer to where he'd been before, though now he wasn't so sure as to how he felt about his state now; shaky and sobbing into his brother's chest, whose arms were wrapped around him securely. 

He hadn't had any control over his actions, he had just suddenly attacked. He hadn't had any inclination for the first few seconds he'd seen them, and then he'd suddenly just been unreasonably full of rage. He hadn't meant it at all. He felt different things, now that they weren't in the room with him, and knowing he'd attacked them feeling what he did now made things worse. He never wanted to do that again.

It had been terrifying.

~

"It's the programming."

"I know."

"He wouldn't really-"

"I  _know_ , Natasha."

There was silence and he flinched just slightly even though he knew she wasn't glaring at him, Bucky glanced over at her and sighed.

"Sorry...I'm just...I guess I was hoping too hard that he wouldn't..." he trailed off and sighed again, his flesh hand rubbing at his face, they hadn't slept since Clint had awoken, and now it was wearing, seeing like this, it was awful.

"End up like us?" she asked but didn't wait for an answer, "Idiot," she said softly then took his flesh hand in hers gently, pulling it from his face, her grip was firm, but still gentle, strong and reassuring. She needed the support just as much as he did.

They stood before and stared through the observation window where Clint and Barney could be seen, Clint had finally calmed somewhat and was just listening to his brother talk of their childhood. His head resting on the man's shoulder who had slipped up on the bed in order to hold him better.

"I feel like we didn't give him enough to...to help," he said after a long pause, his eyes still on Clint.

"How do you mean?"

"Memories to ground him in reality, I guess, something that you know is real. For me it's living in that shitty apartment in Brooklyn with Steve, watching my sister on the swings at the fair...and you, watching you dance, teaching you things, listening to your laugh, and...other stupid things that the Winter Soldier wouldn't care about, but it's something that  _I_  do."

"I see," she said, and closed her eyes, she knew what he meant now. For her it was much the same, though it mainly consisted of him, watching him sleep, watching as he meticulously cleaned one of his rifles, the little things.

"You don't think we gave him enough to remember us by?" she asked, "You think...you think we what? That we ignored him?"

"Sometimes I feel like it, I always get so caught up in you sometimes...I don't think I gave him the kind of attention he needed...or deserved.  _Shit._  sometimes I think I _did_ just ignore him."

"James," Natasha said softly and then put her hand on his cheek to make him look at her, "We all had off days where we didn't want to have anything to do with each other, that's why we had separate rooms," she said reasonably, "We all respected each other then, he had days like that and I had days like that, that's what we get for having three of us, there are problems sure, but we usually worked it out in our own way," she said, "Don't blame yourself for something like this James, it's unnecessary and he will shoot you in the ass if he ever finds out."

He snorted out a laugh, "Alright...but still," he scrunched up his nose and she flicked it, hard, "Ow..."

"Idiot, Clint was happy with us...I know it, he laughed even more when you came around, we all did," she said, "That's why we have to help him get back to us, because he deserves to laugh again."

He smiled and cupped her cheek back, leaning forward to kiss her gently, "Glad I have you around to help me sort through the idiocy."

"You would be hopeless without me," she said and he laughed before kissing her again.

They would get through this, all three of them.

~

"You feeling better, little bro?" Barney asked softly and Clint nodded, pushing away from him and wiping his face, feeling extremely embarrassed at breaking down like that on his brother like a a little kid.

"Sorry," he murmured, "I didn't mean to get...all over you like that."

"Eh, I've had worse of your bodily fluids on me before, tears ain't so bad," Barney shrugged.

"What?" Clint asked, that surprised a laugh out of him.

"When you were a baby man, you pissed on me at least five times, and you puked on me constantly, probably didn't help that I liked to poke you in the stomach...probably shat on me a few times too."

"Jerk!" Clint laughed, "You deserved it if you were poking me!"

"Funny, mom said that too," Barney said smirking wryly, "But come on give me a break, I was only three, you made sounds, can you really blame me?"

"Well apparently I can if I kept pissing on you," he replied and Barney laughed.

"Fair enough," he said and then bumped his shoulder gently, "So...you wanna talk about what happened? That was a real sudden reaction there..."

"I...I don't know...I just saw his face and got really angry...but I don't think...even if I was angry at him...I wouldn't have done that...that wasn't me..." he murmured.

"Mmm....okay..." Barney replied, not sure what else to say. Thing were complicated, it was shit he had never dealt with before, but he would do his damnedest to make sure his brother would be okay.

"I didn't like it, I don't want it happening again...you won't let it...right?" He looked up at his brothers, eyes pleading and Barney couldn't say no, even though he had no control over it, he still couldn't let him down.

"Right," he agreed, "We'll get it sorted out so you never have to feel like that again. I promise."

"Thanks," Clint whispered and then slowly closed his eyes and relaxed against his brother who would have to talk to the other assassins about this. Things were getting hard. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a general idea of where I want to go, so there will probably be a few more chapters yet.
> 
> Edited: 2/22/15


	14. Fool's Psychology

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint has some help from a guy who knows minds.

"So, we're going to call in a psychic...really?" Barney asked, looking highly skeptical.

"It was either a psychic or a sorcerer, but the psychic has experience with things like this," Bucky replied with a shrug, he'd thought it was odd too.

"The psychic is a telepathic mutant named Charles Xavier, he is good at what he does," Natasha explained patiently.

"Alright, but...whatever's gonna happen he's not gonna...bring up the things that made him freak out, is he? I promised I wouldn't let anything happen like that again," Barney said mouth turned down stubbornly. It was a stupid promise he knew, but he was going to try his hardest to keep it.

"We know, and no, we'll wait, we'll take as long as we need to, we just want to make sure he's okay," Natasha said and Bucky nodded.

"Alright," Barney said, "So...then what's the plan?"

"We'll let the professor in and go from there, and he won't be helpless so we can send him in alone."

"If you say so."

~

Clint woke to a gentle sound of something electronic and on wheels gliding into the room, he blinked blearily up at the ceiling and then rolled over and blinked again and saw a face, it was somewhat familiar.

"Hello, Clint," a faintly British accented voice said.

He blinked again and his eyes cleared, "...Chuckles..?" 

The other man laughed softly, "Yes, I've come to help you," he said, "How do you feel?"

Clint grunted, "Crappy...so...so you're gonna...help in my head...?" He'd had Charles look at his head after Loki, he hated it, but he needed to be sure the crazy god was gone, and he'd gotten the all clear from the telepath, it had been more reassuring that he'd thought it was going to be.

"If you want, I won't do anything you don't approve of," he promised and Clint nodded, he knew Charles was a really good guy and tried to help any person he could, and that he kept those promises.

"Yeah...okay," he muttered, "I got a fucked up head...could use some help."

"We can start off small," Charles sad, "I don't want to push you, I have been made aware of the situation and know you don't want to experience any more..."

"Episodes? Killer instincts directed at two specific people who are actually my lovers?" Clint supplied dryly.

"Yes," he said amused, "That."

"Oh good I thought I was crazy," he said and then grunted as he sat up, "Is Barney close...you know...just in case?" he asked a little bit nervous.

"Of course, he is but a call away, but today we can start small, I have a few exercises I want to do with you before we actually address the rest, alright?"

"You're the man, Prof.," Clint shrugged and Charles smiled, he could see this was hard on all of them, and it was good to see Clint's personality still seemed intact, that was somewhat of a relief, after what he'd heard. He didn't think this was going to be as terribly difficult as he'd thought at first. Clint was resilient, he would make it through on sheer stubbornness alone. Somewhat similar to one of his fellows.

"Have you been spending too much time with Logan?"

Clint grinned, "Probably."

He shook his bald head and then nodded, "Are you ready to start?" he asked and Clint wiggled a bit on the bed to get comfortable and then nodded.

Charles returned the nod and then entered Clint's mind, slowly cautiously and keeping Clint's consciousness aware of his actions the whole time. 

Clint was able to manage it, despite not liking the reminder this was the fourth time someone other than him had been in his head.

~

They started off simply, reviewing memories of Clint's childhood, ones Barney had assured him were real and something that hadn't been touched, there was a manufactured psychic residue that appeared in older memories, that were not seemingly touched upon but they were just slightly different than how Barney remembered them, Charles assumed that they had started to try and change those memories but hadn't gotten around to it. It was good because it gave him something to look for in the other memories to let him know which ones were changed and which were not.

They moved to something they already worked on, his time under Loki, where everything looked normal in his mind save for the slightest tint of blue at the edges of the memories that reassured him that he was not under his own control. 

Clint's normal memories were clear and crisp when he and the professor were going through them, the blue tint had helped him get over the whole Loki thing, he still felt guilty and he still had nightmares, but he was doing a lot better than he had been the first few months after the invasion. Charles had made him look at the blue to get him to recognize the fact that it was tinted blue, and that his memories were not what they should be. It had helped immensely in the long run.

Clint could recognize a flashback because of the blue tint, and then he could break out of it.

It took several sessions reviewing that before they worked up to going into the other memories the ones Charles had seen the residue, the memories that were centered around Natasha seemed to have the most residue which made it pretty clear they were altered, he'd worked with many before including James, and his own had been far more careful, the fake and the real, were harder to distinguish. It was obvious that they weren't trying to be careful with Clint as his were fairly clear which were which. But that made recovery a whole lot easier to clarify.

They slowly moved into those memories, never pushing it too far and going back if need be, it was hard work and Clint sometimes went too far despite the precautions, he was just trying to heal too fast and Barney had to be brought in to bring him back down.

But he could tell now, that the memories where Natasha and Bucky were cold, distant and treated him badly were wrong. They were fake, and the feelings they were trying to make him believe were false.

On the edges they were rough and fuzzy as if frayed, making them easier to distinguish.

Natasha calling him a tool.

Bucky treating him like a convenient fuck.

The glares and the disdain. 

Natasha ignoring him for James, James ignoring him for Natasha.

Making him feel like he was outside looking in. In the way. 

Ignored and treated like he was a failure. 

Natasha scoffing at him for mistakes made.

Bucky getting angry with him for anything he didn't like.

None of it was true.

What _was_ true, was something he'd dreamed about since.

Natasha pressed against his side, fingers lazily running through the hair at the back of his neck.

Bucky's arm laying on his shoulders, pulling him close so he could rest his head on his shoulder.

Sleeping between them after a hard mission or a nightmare.

Laughing with them.

Living with them.

They were his and he had tried to kill them. The two people who made him happier than anything in the world. The two people he wouldn't dare to think he loved but oh god did he. With all of his being did he love them. All he wanted for them was happiness. They'd been through so much shit, and finally they'd come to a point where they were satisfied with their lives and Clint had ruined it all.

He had almost put an arrow in each of them. He'd shattered that happiness with the first twang of his bow.

He was better, but he had a whole new mess of problems to deal with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's so short guys. I'm starting to get into a rut! D: But I know where I want to go, I just need to actually write it! ;D
> 
> Edited: 2/22/15


	15. Fool's Elusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint can't look at them, it hurts too much. But Barney can't stand the moping so he does something about it.

Clint was better, that was true, Clint could smile and laugh be as normal as someone in his profession could be. He joked with Tony, he sparred with Steve, he cooked with Barney's girlfriend, Becky. He could even hang around Bruce, talk to him about stupid things. He could be like he was before, he was sassy and confident and just all around himself. But that was only on the outside. Inside he was still broken.

His nightmares were persistent, every night all he could see was blood.  He knew who they were now, he knew that he loved them, but that made the whole thing worse. He loved them and he had hurt them.

That was all he could see.

Their blood, covering his hands.

Their bodies broken and dead at his feet. He could see their faces, frozen in shock at his betrayal. It was seared into his mind.

Red hair spread out dull, metal arm broken and scratched.

He could never forgive himself for this.

He never wanted his dreams to be a reality, who knew if the triggers in his mind were broken completely? Charles had done his best, but there was no way to know for sure, so he avoided them. He wouldn't even stay in the same room as they were, he never made eye contact with them. And hadn't talked to them in almost ten months.

He couldn't bring himself to do anything. He could tell his brother was getting frustrated with him.

He wouldn't even agree to talk to them through a phone.

He felt too much guilt and shame on top of it all to consider it. He should have been stronger, he should have been able to resist, he should have done so many things, but he hadn't.

He wanted to run, every day the urge to do so strengthened, and his brother could tell. He knew how Clint worked, and he was trying to figure out how to fix this. His brother had needed him before and despite the stubborn man's insistence otherwise, still needed it now.

Barney had a plan and he was going to make it work, Bucky and Natasha agreed to it.

Seeing two ex-Russian assassins look like kicked puppies when their lover fled from them was not something Barney ever thought he'd feel sympathy for, but strange times meant strange things and dealing with it. 

So Barney was going to get his brother back into his weird assassin love triangle thing, he knew his brother missed them, he knew he was happy with them. He'd seen it. 

His brother deserved the same happiness he'd found with Becky. He was going to make this work even if his brother was a stubborn little shit. He needed to accept the fact that he needed the other two just as much as they needed him, if he wanted happiness for them, then he needed to get his ass in gear.

Barney was just going to give him a little shove in the right direction.

~

Clint was in the range, Barney said he would meet him there so they could shoot together, it was something they did regularly as apart of Clint's therapy. It got Clint back in the grove, he hadn't wanted to even touch his bow the first few weeks after the whole thing, but he'd been convinced it would help him recover so he had, and it had helped. It reminded him that he had absolute control of his weapon, he needed that control in his life.

But it also helped with trusting himself, he no longer feeling like he was likely to shoot one of his teammates because of the conditioning, not like any of them thought he would, it was more for his benefit, and he never did it alone Barney was always there to help, and because he knew Clint needed the reassurance.

Clint didn't know how he was going to repay him, he figured that the best way was to get out of his hair and leave him to his life. That's what he always thought, if he left, things would be easier for everyone else. He was an idiot like that.

He was in the middle of a thinking of a plan to sneak out when no one expected it when he heard the door open, "There you are jeez I was beginning to think you'd forgott-" his words stuck in his throat when he saw who was standing in the doorway.

He'd thought it was his brother, boy was he wrong.

He took a step back and dropped his bow at the sight of them. He didn't trust himself around them normally, he couldn't comprehend trusting himself with his bow while they were in the same room.

It clattered to the ground and then there was silence.

Clint never treated his bow so carelessly, his bow was his baby, he treated it better than some people treated their real babies.

Natasha and Bucky knew he was seriously upset or scared to do something like that, Natasha's lips pursed, she wasn't going to let this stand any longer, Clint didn't deserve to be in such a constant state of fear, and self-hate. It was both devastating and irritating.

"Clint," Natasha started, taking a step towards him but he took several more back shaking his head frantically.

"No, please, just go away," he begged, he knew he was running away from his problems, but he just didn't know how to face them.

"No," Bucky said, "We can be just as stubborn as you. We'll wait you out Clint."

Clint had no doubt of that, he knew for a fact Bucky was as stubborn as Steve and Clint was pretty sure Steve was more stubborn than he was, but he just couldn't, "How can you-" he chokes out but shakes his head, how can they not be angry at him? How can they even think about forgiving him?

"Idiot," Natasha said fondly, "If we let every time we tried to kill each other ruin us we'd have been done by now, and James and I have several times."

"Yeah, that time in Argentina was brutal, I actually have a scar," Bucky muttered, Natasha's stance softened just slightly, smiling.

Clint looked up at that, eyebrows furrowed in confusion, some how unable to comprehend that they didn't blame him for all of this, "But..."

"But nothing, numskull," Bucky said stepping forward but stopping when Clint skittered back a few more steps, "I'm sorry...you know for...for going all Winter Soldier on you," he said though he didn't even know if Clint remembered that moment, considering how messed up his memory was at the time.

Clint's eyebrows furrowed, he maybe faintly remembered something like that, but they had wiped him and messed with his memories so much he'd only focused on remembering the good things when he was trying to get back to himself. He wanted those things that had hurt out of his mind, he'd remembered Bucky mentioning something along those lines once, and he knew Natasha did the same.

And then something occurred to him. And it really made him feel like an idiot.

Bucky had been wiped and fucked with more than Clint ever had been, so had Natasha. They knew what he'd gone through, they knew these feelings he was having. They had been in that chair, they had been unmade like that.

Clint wasn't the outsider looking in anymore, he  _knew._ And he'd been avoiding the only people who had really been able to help. God, he was an idiot.

"Oh..." he whispered his knees going weak, he didn't notice that a pair of arms had caught him and gently led him down to the floor.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up," Bucky was murmuring into his hair. "I just wanted you to know that I didn't mean it...I was just too..." he muttered, almost frantic, wanting Clint to know he hadn't meant any of it, he needed to, if he'd made him remember.

"No...no," Clint muttered against his shoulder because that wasn't it, Bucky was fine, it was _him_. He was acting like a fucking ass when they knew all along what it was like and they could have helped, but he'd been trying to protect them, as if they needed it. He was really just trying to hide from himself.

The guilt and the shame controlling him. He should have gone to them all along, knew how to get over it, because they had, again and again.

"It's okay, Clint, we have you," Natasha whispered her hand came up to cup the back of his head, her fingers toying with his hair gently.

The moved slowly, but eventually, he was engulfed by them both, his face pressed into Bucky's shoulder, Natasha at his back, they were there and always had been, supporting him from the background.

He had missed them. He was just a stubborn idiot. It was about time he let them do what they could, they still had more to heal.

"I know..." he breathed, pulling back just a bit so they knew he meant it, but still in their embrace, "I know."

Natasha moved to face him and gently wiped the tear that escaped from Clint's eye, "We won't let you go ever again," she promised softly. "But that means you need to let us hold you."

He nodded, because he couldn't argue, not anymore, not having them be so close, he still couldn't look at them directly quite yet, but they would get there with time.

"We also can't cook worth a damn without you, Natasha's cooking makes me sick," Bucky whispered into his hair and Clint gave a watery laugh.

"I heard that," Natasha said amused, but she was too busy looking at Clint's smile, it was small and still pained, but it was a smile. 

"You want to come back home with us?" Bucky asked, maybe a little too eager and pushy but he really did miss Clint. Only having the two of them in the bed, it had still seemed empty, because there was still a space that was meant to be filled.

Clint took a deep breath, it was a big leap, going from no contact to full contact, but now that some of his inhibitions had been corrected, he was ready for a bit more, he nodded, "Yes...please...take me home?"

"Of course, **Moy Yastreb** ," Natasha replied, running her finger down his cheek gently.

He smiled at her this time, tired and still just a little wary, but genuinely pleased to be smiling at her again.

Together they made it to the floor Bucky and Natasha were sharing in the tower, they would return to their apartment but not quite yet, they still had a lot to work out, but they had made the first step to finally making things better.

Fool me once, shame on you...

Fool me twice...well, when it comes to highly trained assassins, chances are, that's not going to happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the last official chapter.
> 
> But there will be an epilogue.
> 
> Russian: "My Hawk"
> 
> Edited: 2/22/15


	16. Fool's Embrace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue.  
> Seeing how they are after it's all said and done.

Clint's eyes snapped open in the dark, he didn't let his breathing change despite wanting to gasp out and pant on instinct, he didn't. He couldn't, there was an arm over his chest and it would notice a difference in his breathing pattern the second it changed, there was also a hand resting on his stomach, it would notice too.

In the past months of his 'rehabilitation' he'd noticed a lot of differences mostly in himself, he had more acute control over his body than before. He was more finely tuned, he was more sensitive. He was stronger, faster and could do things more precisely than ever before.

Yelena had given him a bastardization of the serum that Natasha had gotten, so it wasn't all that potent, but it had still made changes. And definitely some he could notice. Like how he could see the individual hairs on Natasha's head and feel each breath from the two sets of lungs next to him without even trying. His brain noticed these things and cataloged them faster than ever before.

He was enhanced, but only a little, he could still get his ass wiped by both Natasha and Bucky, but now he could keep up better, which was both awesome and terrifying.

He took another breath, he wouldn't be able to get back to sleep now, there was just no way, not when the vision behind his eyelids was his lovers impaled by his arrows.

He hadn't had as many nightmares like this in the past month or so, but it would have been stupid to think he'd never have another one. But he had hoped he'd get some kind of break. That was stupid of him.

He sighed finally, and the arm shifted, Bucky's face turned up to him, eyes looking at him blearily.

"Clint..?" he muttered, and that woke up Natasha, he felt the hand on his stomach move.

"I'm okay, I just gotta pee and you're using me as a teddy bear," he teased, Bucky hummed and kissed his bare shoulder but did lift his arm away.

"Are you sure..?" Natasha asked, and she was always so good at knowing when he wasn't exactly telling the truth, he smiled at her then got up enough to kiss her forehead, and then turned and did the same to Bucky.

"Yeah," he replied and then slipped out of the bed and did head into the bathroom to go pee, but he wasn't really tired enough to go back to bed, so instead he headed for the kitchen, he checked the clock (4 am) and discovered it really wasn't late enough in the morning to start on breakfast, so he'd make some tea instead, (his doctor wouldn't allow him to have coffee after 5 pm and before 9 am, (he was a slave driver)), Natasha knew his tastes and had gotten him some good ones that he liked, so it wasn't so bad really.

He put on the kettle and sighed, leaning against the counter and just breathing, the images in his head wouldn't die, they just kept repeating, and then getting more and more detailed.

_She was pinned to the wall, arrows keeping her there._

_He was on the ground at her feet, arrows spurting from every part of him._

_Making her watch as he died._

_Dull blue eyes._

_Glassy green eyes._

_Bright crimson pools of blood._

_His hands stained with it._

_He screamed._

He was brought back to reality by hands on his face, Natasha's bright beautiful green eyes staring at him in concern. He didn't realize he'd slipped to the floor, his hands gripping his hair until then. He was panting and staring back at her, his eyes flickering over to Bucky who was turning off the stove and moving the kettle which was screaming with steam, that had probably woken them up, and they'd entered the kitchen to see him in the middle of a panic attack.

"Clint, come on, look at me, remember to breath with me," Natasha said gently, her hands on his face gentle but a good anchor, she started breathing exaggeratedly, making him match, he hadn't realized he'd nearly started to hyperventilate, but he was coming back down thanks to Natasha.

"S-sorry," he muttered once he was once again in control of himself, Natasha flicked his nose.

"Hush, Yastreb, you know better than to apologize," she said without a trace of pity or condescension, only stating a fact, "Can you stand?" she asked and he nodded, she helped him up and then Bucky was there, holding out his tea for him.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked and Clint shook his head, he never did want to talk about it, but sometimes he knew he needed to, but he didn't every single time, and they both respected that, as he had when their nightmares woke them.

"Nothing new..." he muttered, taking the tea and just enjoying the warmth, "Just...my mind liking to fuck with me."

"Yeah, that happens," Bucky said coming around to hug him from behind, Clint had noticed they'd been very tactile with him these days, he wondered if it was because they knew he liked it, or because they hadn't been able to touch him for a very long time. Either way, he really liked it, though he'd likely never admit it aloud, too embarrassed by the thought that they wanted to touch him even now.

"Mmm," Clint muttered, absorbing the heat from his tea and sighing softly. He hated that he was still a headcase, that he woke them from their rest with his panic, but he knew he'd only get scolded if he apologized again. Natasha was being far more adamant this time in trying to convince him it wasn't his fault, she may have felt guilty she hadn't done it enough after Loki.

Clint was then pulled out of the kitchen over to the couch where he was surrounded on both sides by Natasha and Bucky, "You're both ridiculous," he muttered, but was hiding a smile behind his mug.

"Shut up," Natasha said fondly, "We're allowed to fawn on you," she pushed her fingers into his hair and he chuckled, setting his head on her shoulder.

Bucky pulled his legs up onto his lap and rubbed them gently, "Wanna watch a movie?" he asked, "I think we should finish the Lord of the Rings thing."

"You mean the Hobbit, that got split into three movies for no reason?" Clint asked, smiling.

"Yeah that, with the guy with the arrows that Stark calls you," Bucky said and Clint laughed, he knew Bucky knew the characters, he was doing this on purpose because he was a dork and wanted to make him laugh.

"Legolas," Clint smiled into Natasha's shoulder.

"Right, right," Bucky chuckled softly and started up the movie again, but of course, with being as tired as he was after his panic attack, the gentle fingers in his hair and the massage his legs were getting, Clint fell asleep only about thirty minutes in, his head slipping down to Natasha's lap so he was laid out across them, which had likely been their goal the entire time. Smug little shits.

Bucky smiled as he stopped the movie then moved Clint's legs gently so he could pick him up, while Clint was not light, Bucky was very strong and he was able to carry him back to bed with ease, Natasha followed along after putting the empty teacup in the sink and shutting off the lights.

They crawled in bed with him again surrounding him on both sides, a comfort and gentle reminder that he was loved and supported, and each time he woke up for the rest of the night, he could see one of them and fall back to sleep in peace knowing they were safe. That his nightmares were not a reality and they would be there for him through it.

It had taken a long time to get to this point, between Clint being stubborn and insecure and Natasha and Bucky not really knowing how to treat him for awhile, it was a bit shaky, but luckily, Barney was just as stubborn as his brother and was able to get the other two in the right mindset to take care of him, trusting them enough with him so he could go back to his own apartment and be with his understanding girlfriend again. He deserved the break.

Clint was able to come back to them in short little spurts, spending time with them again doing menial tasks such as cleaning or watching movies, they worked up to cleaning weapons which had been a whole new thing, since Clint still didn't trust himself with weapons around them at that point, but eventually they move passed that.

Then they were able to spar together and practice shooting together and finally Clint was let back on the field full time, once there everything else just fell into place and he moved back in with them and they could finally start moving forward, thing were growing more and more normal as the days went one, Clint occasionally had flashbacks, but Natasha and Bucky were now well equipped to deal with them and Clint no longer ran away to stew in his guilt after them.

They had even gotten to the point they could have sex, one thing Clint was grateful for when it came to his new enhanced self was his stamina and refraction period, sex lasted hours now, it was pretty great.

The other thing to be grateful for was that it seemed to also slow down his aging, he was going to live just a bit longer as long as he didn't get shot or something, he wouldn't live nearly as long as Bucky or Natasha, obviously, but knowing they had more time together regardless was a great reassurance for them all.

Even after this mess they were still together, despite all of Clint's insecurities he could keep something good and this time, it looked like it just might be something great, and this time, he wasn't going to let go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it took so long to update, things were crazy.  
> But I want to thank all of you who stuck with me and supported me through this.  
> It's been a fun ride! :)


End file.
